I actually *work* on Beyblade, and I still LOVE this.
I actually *work* on Beyblade, and I still LOVE this.
woah what haha
Really sorry I didn't catch this sooner, beacuase
...you both did a great job with this tribute, and watching it genuinely nearly brought a tear to my eye.
Over the past year it's been extremely humbling to have seen so many people get so much enjoyment out of Mick's flash, and few things make me smile more than seeing something I've worked on inspire people to create works of their own. I wish the best of luck to you and Paul with all of your future productions.
Thank you very much D-Mac, I'm pleased you like it. I also hope to see more work from you too haha :)
So incredible well executed.
First off, thanks so very much for taking notice of my recording, and considering it worth making a flash out of. Just when I thought all interest in the audio had died off, I was absolutely shocked to see this. I've always really enjoyed your voicework, but never actually realized how often you also dabbled into animation.
You did an absolutely fantastic job with this and I thoroughly enjoyed it. O Fortuna was a great musical choice, and all the quirks you added in the typography really enhanced the vocals. The "Contrail" bit in particular, was simply brilliant.
I'd like to think that axman13 would be "vary prowd", and I'll certainly be keeping an eye out for your future works.
This marvelous creation has truly revolutionized not only my outlook on gaming's future, but also on life itself. This rollercoaster ride of a story had me on the very edge of my seat from beginning to end. A tale of love, loss, and triumph above adversity, the likes of which have gone unparelled in the medium of gaming, and even most Academy Award-winning films.
And what a truimph indeed! You've taken an ancient standby of keyboarding, the space bar -- something many traditional keyboardists refuse to even acknowledge as a proper "key", and injected it with new life, having it singlehandedly carry this masterpiece of a production. No mere "key" could ever handle the intense pressures and demands of this task. In the face of its detractors, the space bar has truly ascended to something greater.
It nearly brings a tear to my eye.
Add this all to a beautifully crafted musical score through a massive collaborative effort of indepentent artists, flawless-incredibly-unsurpassably perfect vocal performances from industry stars Cam Clarke and David Kaye, along with jaw dropping, high defintion, vector-based visuals which make me fully immersed within this living, breathing fantasy world.
You have displayed the very definition of gaming as an art form, and it's time the rest of the industry took notice. I can only imagine how long and hard you toiled to make this all finally happen, and I thank you.
REVIEW FIVE HUNDREEEEEED
"Shoot the core!"/"We know that!"
One of the reasons why I enjoy your work so much is because it's really apparent just how much effort you put into visual atmosphere, in spite of your artistic limitations. Along with a ton of variation in the stage backgrounds, I love new little details such as enemy ships now disintegrating as they explode. Some -excellent- music selections (Pompeii!), though they -slightly- overpowered the voices at times.
Now what can be said about the gameplay? Fantastic. Simply fantastic. Even in 2D, Project Inthri 3 plays like the best Starfox game in 10 years. No over-complication, just classic run and gun action, likeable characters, unique bosses, and a story that's easy to get into.
Though there are some moments where I'd love to have the spread gun back, rapid-fire remained a strong replacement, and the overall action is incredibly well-paced from beginning to end, never feeling monotonous. Most every boss design really impressed me, with the highly innovate Claw leading the pack. And of course, it's just not an Inthri game without a Giant Enemy Crab, is it? In addition, four difficultly levels and 2-player mode result in some excellent replay value.
From XS's cover fire, to the mini-boss in the asteroid field, a ton of moments made me stop and say, "Wow. This is awesome game design." All in all, with non-stop action and a well-delivered story, hats off to you on putting together one truly incredible flash gaming experience. PI3 was an absolute blast to play through, and an honor to be a part of.
Much better than the first.
Well this was quite a fun little diversion. I played up to level 8.
Considering what you were aiming for, I couldn't ask for much more in terms of style and presentation. Simplistic yet smooth graphics, coupled with simplistic yet addicting gameplay gave this a nice, old-school arcadey feel. The thinner, taller screen really aided in recreating that feel, though having the movement of the starry background increase along with the speed of enemy ships during "LEVEL UPs", would've been a nice atmospheric touch.
Humor points because the "story" amused me.
Good use of sound effects, and while I thought the infinitely looped music would get annoying early on, it didn't bother me too much once I got into the game.
One or two more laser-altering powerups would've be nice, and while I found the "slow down" item to be a great addition in terms of adding difficulty, it could've been better implemented. It felt rather awkward for the ship to still move somewhat faster than its original speed after acquiring one "speed up" and one "slow down". The balance in speed change between both items should probably equate to zero, as they seemed to pop up at an equal frequency.
All in all, this was certainly a major improvement over the original in every regard, and it was very interesting to go back and see just how much you'd improved the game's design in only two weeks time. I certainly wouldn't mind seeing more things like this from you in the future.
Ok, what do you want from me?
Stong potential, glaring weaknesses.
I think you have a nice voice for soft toned reads, but deliveries like "reconize", "that matter the mos", "american airline dah com" (should also be "airlines", with an "s"), "b'as it might someday become", "on the moun-EN", "architec", show me that you really need to work on tightening up your enunciation, along with better training your ears so you're aware of such occurrences the moment they happen. It's so frequent that I'm beginning to wonder if you just naturally have a non-American dialect.
Interestingly, the Budweiser and Halloween spots where you're *putting on* accents are actually your strongest easily, barring a slight "hesitation" I could hear from you on "stock up now". These kinda lean more towards character voices, though, so I do like how you placed Halloween at the very end.
The Lego spot requires you to pull back and sell some emotional attachment, as a father talking about his son. The writing even allows for some light-hearted comedy to be worked in. You instead sold this as more of a stiff announcer, which resulted in your weakest read from an acting standpoint, despite having some of your better enunciation.
If you're as serious about your work as you seem to be, I think you'd greatly benefit from investing in studying diction. You also should not be touting yourself as a professional if you're having to list game mods, webcomic fandubs, and Pokemon audio parodies as resume credits. If you were not paid, these are not "employment". I congratulate you on having an agent, but this alone does not make you a professional.
I want to thank you for taking the time to listen and write out a proper review, it's nice to see someone analyzing a demo down perfectly but keeping it simple. As for the diction and resume, I'm going to fix those up as soon as I can. Once again, thank you very much.
Most of the groundwork is there...
This is definitely very rough, as you've specified, but with the right polish, I think you can get a really solid demo out of this.
I wanna start out by saying that your enuncition has improved TENFOLD since I last heard your work. I only found one very noticable case of slurring, on "maph problems". Kudos on genuinely putting forth the effort to better this aspect of your delivery. It's really showing.
Acting wise, there's some deliveries I liked, some I didn't, so I've go over some of 'em.
0:00 - 0:07: I found this kinda flat and not convincing. If your aim is to portray a more "commanding" sort, it will often help to actually carry a really tense and serious facial expression as you speak the line. You can also play with the levels of your tone more to really engage the listener. Imagine you're raising your voice to cut someone off with that "There's no time for introductions!" then shifting over to a sterner, slower tone, as you get down to business on the rest of the line.
0:18 - 0:28: I really liked the tone here. It's a great contrast to the voice that came right before it. This is where you started spending too much time on one voice, however. Cut it after "my time here is short".
0:28 - 0:33: You essentially did this same voice before at the 0:13 mark. Cut one of them.
0:33 - 1:10: Not a bad voice at all. There's only a handful of female AVAs who can pull out a decent elderly range, let alone try. But wooow, look at the time. You did a full out monologue in the middle of a demo reel. Just keep the first 5 to 7 seconds and cut the rest. Spending longer than that on just -one- voice, is a mistake.
1:10 - 1:42: Another monologue-length reading, which is another no no. However, it did showcase one of your better voices, just oozing with devious personality. My favourite part was: "All you have to do is side with me. Together... we can win this war." - Methinks you should just keep that part, and cut the rest. Shifting you tone for that really soft "together." kinda gave me the chills, in a good way. I really liked that acting choice.
1:42 - 1:47: Very similar voice and dialogue to what you do at 1:54 - 2:02. One of them should be cut.
2:03 - 2:24: Too much time on one voice again. Some good words to end with, however. I also liked how you paced most of this reading, though emotion was a liiittle flat at times. Think the best way to read it would be with more of a "smile".
All in all, I think you should be able to shave at least a full minute off this rough version. Between 1 minute, and 1 minute 30sec tends to be an ideal length for a proper demo. Since you'll likely have some time to fill, I also advise experimenting with different accents and dialects a bit.
Along with the above notes, add in some background noise removal, fitting music and sound effects, and this should all turn out rather nicely. I really enjoy seeing people put legit effort into their work and striving to improve, so I hope you keep it up. If asked, I'd be more than willing to review any of your work again.
Thanks for the detailed feedback, no one else really bothered to lay it out for me. When get around to making a final cut I'll keep these words in mind.
Yes, I'm the "Dot Dot Dot" voice man. I've worked in TV cartoons for 8 years. Sorry, I don't take many voice requests anymore, though I do some casting. My days as an online performer are coming to an end, and I look forward to a new generation of talent.
TV Voiceover Artist
Wherever you least expect